.: The Bare Witch :.
A brief history of Holly: A decade ago she began honing her craft on the TV series Picket Fences (opposite Tom Skerritt!!!!!!! Sorry about all those exclamation points, but we just love the guy) and the D-level horror flick Dr. Giggles, opposite that retarded guy from LA Law. Now she visits you ever week (you lucky bastard) as Piper Halliwell, the sexy middle sister on the WB’s Charmed, a show about, well, three sexy sisters who battle evil using their magical powers. I sat down with TV’s cutest starlet to discuss her career. Sure, she was 3,000 miles away in California and we talked over the phone, but I’ll take what I can get.
Stuff: You started acting at a really young age. Why haven’t you been in rehab yet?
Holly: I was the product of very young parents, and they had wild ways. My mother was in a punk band. Rebelling would have been learning to play the piano.
You were in Born on the Fourth of July. Where do you stand on the subject of Tom Cruise’s sexuality?
Dude, I never got the gayness thing for one second. He was really sweet. He noticed that I was wearing antique rings and bought me an antique brooch.
Straight guys love to accessorize! I hears Charmed’s executive producer, Aaron Spelling, was forcing you to keep your bangs. Is he a tyrant?
In the hair department? Absolutely. He actually called me when I tried to grow my bangs out and was like, “No, no, no!” He gets obsessed with the new girl’s hair for the first couple of years and then he’ll leave you alone.
Stuff: Is there any boob envy on the set? Your costars are pretty well endowed.
Holly: I'm fine. Honestly, if I wanted 'em, I would have bought 'em by now.
In my mind there’s a Charmed locker room where all of you get undressed together. Please tell me I’m not wrong.
There is a degree of truth to that. Rose [McGowan] is modest, but Shannen [Doherty] and Alyssa [Milano] would change in front of me in a heartbeat. They’re talking to you and suddenly the clothes are coming off. I guess it’s an actress thing, but I can’t talk to you when your boobs are hanging out.
You make more in a week than I do in a calendar year. Tell me why that’s fair.
I don’t think it’s fair. I get paid an exorbitant amount to do something that is basically not that hard. I come from a blue-collar family. Every time I feel tired, I’m like You know what? My dad’s under a fucking tractor right now doing machine work.
Does Dad know there are topless pictures of you on the Internet?
That’s a freaky thing. I did one topless scene when I was 20. There was not thought in my mind that they could freeze that moment into 15 different pictures. The worst, I was thinking, was that stupid guy friends of mine could rewind it and play it again and again.
Segue alert! Speaking of the Internet, a pair of pajamas you wore on the show is going for almost 50 bucks on eBay. Can you imagine how much panties would go for? Maybe we could start a partnership.
Oh, my God. Let me see if I can grab some of Alyssa’s and we’ll go for more.
You were a vegetarian, but then you went back to eating meat. Why?
It was the cheeseburgers. In six years, I never, ever stopped craving meat.
I know you also like salami. Would you mind saying something along the lines of “I like salami” so that I can turn it into a sexual euphemism?
Right. I see where you’re going with this. Huh. How about this: You have my permission to make up any salami euphemism you like.
Aw, thanks. You’re dating a key grip from your show. I didn’t realize the talent fooled around with the little people.
You’re so wrong. The grips are the manly men. I don’t have any interest in a guy who doesn’t know the right end of a screwdriver.
Your character on Charmed can freeze time. If you could freeze it in a sexual position, which one would it be?
Well, if we had to freeze time…it would be during my orgasm, because you want that to last as long as possible.
Sounds pretty greedy.
Yes! I think everyone should be sexually greedy.
Delightful! What’s up with you platonic love of animals?
I didn’t have my own bedroom until I had my own house. So when I had the space, I started adopting dogs and cats. Now I live on an acre. I have four horses. I’m sure it seems weird, but the smell of horseshit is like coming home to me. It’s gross but true.
What about this three-legged hamster you used to have. Ever been tempted to stick the little gimp’s head in the toilet and put him out of his misery?
No! He was in no misery. He didn’t know he was legless. Are you going to hate it because it’s missing something?
Yes. With all those animals, you’re probably cleaning up crap all day. Please tell me a gross poop story.
My boyfriend’s dog had broken his leg, so I let him sleep in the bedroom, which, by the way, has white carpet. We were sleeping when we heard an explosion of gas and the smell hit us like a brick wall. And we were like, Oh, my God. Please tell me he didn’t. Not only did he have diarrhea on the carpet, but he also somehow sprayed it onto the wall.
I trust nothing similar has ever happened to you.
No, absolutely not. I’ve never crapped myself.
I’m very proud of you.
Thank you.
The Cover & inside
Photos from the photo shoot (The last 2 were not published in the magazine (from the Stuff Website)
The REAL photo sent by Holly herself (Holly said that they air brushed parts of her photo)
